


However beautiful you may be

by makerofaqueen



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Muggle, Angst, Blood, Break Up, Camping, Clubbing, Drinking, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, Fist Fights, Fluff, Full Moon, Gay, Gay Sex, Homophobia, Jail, M/M, Mentions of homophobia, Smoking, Smut, Weed, Werewolf, animagi, jily, mentions of illness, mentions of scars, mentions of self harm, mentions of wounds, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-10-17 18:05:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17565389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makerofaqueen/pseuds/makerofaqueen
Summary: Lily has a childhood friend she's never mentioned and now she's trying to pair Sirius up with him. This cute boy, however, seems to be very private and not at all easy to get close to. Not that that's ever stopped Sirius before.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story will all be from Sirius' POV. Rated mature because there is some smuttiness coming.

Sirius took one, last, look at the Black family mansion before putting on his helmet, straddling his motorcycle, and leaving. It wasn’t like it was the last time he would see it, but as of today he would be residing permanently in London. As sad as it was leaving the mansion where he had grown up, Sirius was also relieved because these last years, living with his brother had become increasingly difficult. Regulus had no other interests than to suck up to their father and bully his faggot brother behind their parent’s backs.

He sped along the narrow country roads, admiring the green landscape as he went. His mother hadn’t been very happy about him bringing his motorcycle to London where she couldn’t limit him using it. She had, however, realized there wasn’t a whole lot she could do about it and begrudgingly accepted her faith.

She wasn’t going to be entirely without influence, though. The old man-servant who had been caring for the run-down London property in the family’s absence would still be there, now “caring” for Sirius. He put the quotation marks around that in his mind because Mr. Kreacher was many things, but caring was not one of them.

Sirius parked his motorcycle in front of the house and entered. As soon as the door closed behind him shuffled footsteps were heard from the kitchen. Mr. Kreacher appeared, looking as half dead as ever, frowning disapprovingly at Sirius.

‘It is custom to ring the bell, my Lord.’

Sirius raised an eyebrow at that.

‘I refuse to ring the doorbell in my own bloody house, Kreach.’

‘It’s Mr. Kreacher.’

‘Of course it is. Now Kreach, did my luggage arrive on time?’

‘It got here yesterday, my Lord.’

‘So I assume it’s in my room, now?’

‘Yes, my Lord.’

‘You’re dismissed, or whatever.’

Sirius took the stairs two steps at a time, no doubt to Mr. Kreacher’s horror, until he reached his room. He threw himself on his bed and pulled out his phone. He had a missed text from James.

 

_You in London yet?_

 

**Just got here and I’m already up to my balls in Kreah’s disapproving frowns.**

 

_Glad to see you’re not wasting any time. Wanna come over?_

 

**Nah. I’m kinda tired from driving Tash all the way here. Also, I need to settle in. School starts tomorrow, remember.**

 

… _right. It’s good to have you in town with us regular mortals. See you for lunch tomorrow then?_

 

**Gotcha!**

 

Sirius looked around the room, sighed, then got up and started unpacking his stuff.

 

\----------------------------

 

The next morning Sirius put on the most torn jeans he could find and of course his leather jacket and hopped on his motorcycle. Once he got to campus, he took his helmet off and put his hair into a ponytail. Of course he noticed how the girls were looking at him as he passed by. He could probably have gotten any girl he wanted, but no, girls weren’t his thing. Life had decided that that would have been much too easy for Sirius.

However gay he was, he still winked at a group of girls who stared at him as he passed them by. One blushed, one grinned and winked back, the others just stared. Once he had passed, they started giggling. He rolled his eyes and smiled.

After his first couple of classes, he met up with James and Peter for lunch. The three of them hugged before they went into the cafeteria.

‘So how is London treating you?’ James asked once they were seated.

Sirius shrugged.

‘Fine enough. Kreach has been nothing but a pain in the ass since I arrived but that’s to be expected. I promised mother I wouldn’t sack him, so…’

‘Yeah, poor you and your disrespecting servant,’ Peter smirked.

‘Oi! Shut up!’ Sirius laughed. ‘But seriously, it’s great to be out of the mansion. You guys live in the dorms now?’

‘Yup,’ James said and popped a piece of chicken into his mouth.

‘And Lily?’

‘She decided on staying with her parents. They’re rarely home anyway,’ James said and wriggled his eyebrows.

‘Is that all you think about? Sex?’ Peter asked.

‘No. Sex _with_ _Lily_ is all he thinks about,’ Sirius smirked.

‘Can you blame me? She’s smoldering hot,’ James said and actually looked a little annoyed.

‘Gay,’ Sirius said and pointed to himself. ‘AroAce,’ he said and pointed at Peter.

‘Right…’ James said and made a face. ‘I have weird friends.’

‘Remember you’re a minority here, Potter,’ Peter said and shoved his shoulder.

James gave him a look of pure boredom before he turned back to Sirius.

‘Speaking of the hot smoldering goddess I’m dating…’

‘I’d say _she’s_ dating you, but do go on,’ Sirius smirked.

‘She wants us to go on a pub run on Friday. A friend of hers started our University. Apparently, he doesn’t have a lot of friends, so she wanted us to show him a fun night.’

‘Oh, _that_ we know how to, right lads?’ Sirius grinned.

 

\------------------------------

 

When Sirius came home that afternoon, Mr. Kreacher wasn’t in. There was a note on the board in the hallway about a doctor’s appointment and dinner ready to be heated in the oven. Sirius couldn’t remember if he had ever set foot in the kitchen of twelve Grimmauld place, but it was easy enough to find. He turned on the oven and sat down at the servants’ table, waiting. While he did that, he took his phone out and texted Lily.

 

**Heard you called the troops in on Friday. This guy must be pretty special if he warrants that.**

 

He is. Childhood friend. You coming?

 

**Course I am. Anything for you.**

 

Awww.

 

**But seriously though, you’ve never mentioned this guy… If you’re that close?**

 

He’s private. A classic introvert. Book nerd. I don’t know what else to tell you.

Oh. He’s biseeeeeeexual  😉

 

Sirius rolled his eyes fondly.

 

**You need to stop trying to find me a boyfriend Evans. Just because his and mine preferences match doesn’t mean that we do.**

 

I know. However, this has nothing to do with preferences and everything to do with _I know you, Siri._ I know your type.

 

**I don’t have a type.**

 

😉

 

**Fuck you, Evans.**

**See you Friday, love.**

 

:* 

 

\------------------------------

 

Regardless of how reluctant he had been about Lily’s insinuations regarding this new addition to their group, Sirius found that he grew more curious by the day. He had Friday off school, which meant he spent the day in bed, trying to find out anything about this friend of Lily’s. He went through her Facebook, but he didn’t have a name on him and the people he didn’t know all had private settings for non-friends. He cursed under his breath. The only thing he could do was ask Lily about a name, but he didn’t want to give her that satisfaction.

He met up with James and Peter at the Leaky Cauldron, their go-to for cheap, watery beer. A good place to start any pub run. James had already ordered for all five of them, so he handed Sirius a glass as soon as he sat down.

‘So, where’s Evans and the Golden boy?’ he asked James.

‘Here in two. They just got off the subway.’

Sirius took a swig of his beer and put it down on the table just as Lily walked in with the so-called Golden Boy. A tall, scrawny guy with light brown hair. He didn’t look like much, but one thing struck Sirius as odd. It was late august, almost thirty degrees outside, and this guy was wearing a hoodie, with the hood up over his head, as well as full-length jeans and fingerless gloves. Even Sirius, who almost never left home without his leather jacket, had that with him tonight because it was just too fucking hot.

The three of them watched in silence as Lily noticed them and steered her friend over to their table.

‘Hey guys, this is Remus. Remus, this is James, Peter and Sirius.’

The Remus offered them a weak wave and a faint smile. James pulled the chair closest to him out so Lily could sit down there. Her friend sat down next to her, between her and Peter. This meant Sirius had a perfect view of the guy. Not that he saw much, because between the murky light in the pub and Remus’ hood being up, all he could really gather was that the guy had a scar on the bridge on his nose, and that was only because it was a prominent fucking scar.

Lily had been right though. The guy _was_ cute. Of-fucking-course he was. Sirius would have to smack her later, or he would have if he had been the type to smack women. Spoiler alert: he wasn’t.

James leaned around to look Remus in the eyes.

‘So, Lily tells me that you’re old friends. Care to tell us a little about yourself?’

Remus’ eyes flickered to Lily for a second before he focused on the beer he was cradling.

‘Uhm… there’s not much to tell.’

‘James! At least let the poor sap get a little drunk before you give him the third degree,’ Lily said disapprovingly.

Remus glanced at his friend.

‘It’s okay, Lily.’ He turned to James. ‘I’m really not that interesting. I’ve been homeschooled, so I haven’t gotten out much.’

‘Well, we’re not that interesting, either,’ Sirius offered.

Remus gave him a weak smile, but still wouldn’t meet his eyes.

‘Speak for yourself, _Lord_ Black,’ James grinned.

‘Remus looked up at him with raised eyebrows. Now Sirius could see his eyes.

That was a mistake.

They were green, and in the dimmed light of the pub they looked to be a dark forest green with golden highlights.

‘Lord?’ Remus questioned.

‘ _Earl_ ,’ Sirius rolled his eyes and shot James an annoyed look. ‘And no, that’s my father. After him my brother, if I’m lucky.’

‘But you’re older,’ James pointed out.

‘Yes, but I don’t want the fucking title and that has to count for something.’

James snorted. Lily slapped him.

‘Thank you, Evans. Besides,’ Sirius continued, ‘I don’t think you’re allowed to be openly gay, so that ship has sailed a long time ago.’ He took a victory sip of his beer.

‘Right, that small detail,’ Peter said.

‘I’m gonna go get us another round,’ Sirius said and got up. As he walked towards the bar, he heard James say behind him:

‘He’s a little touchy about the nobility thing. Ouch! Lily!’

He was watching his own reflection in the mirror behind the bar as the bartender poured the drinks, so he didn’t notice Remus until the guy was standing beside him and spoke:

‘Thought I’d help you carry.’

Sirius flinched, then he theatrically placed his hand on his chest and exhaled.

‘Shit. You scared the living daylights out of me.’

Remus lowered his head even more.

‘Sorry. Lily tells me I have bad social skills.’

‘Yeah man, you do, but it’s okay. We’ll work on that,’ Sirius said and patted Remus on the shoulder. Remus winced.

‘Sorry, did I hurt you?’

‘Just a little sore,’ he mumbled.

They got their beers and went back to the table. Lily gave him a smirk he intensely ignored. Halfway through their third beer James wanted a smoke, he always did when he was drinking, so Lily and Peter went with him.

‘You guys coming?’ Peter asked.

‘I don’t like it,’ Remus said.

‘Trying to quit, remember?’ Sirius deadpanned.

Peter shrugged.

‘Trying to quit? What are you? Nineteen?’ Remus asked.

‘Yeah, well… I started smoking when I was twelve. Rebellion thing, I guess.’

‘Trying to piss off the nobility family?’

‘Something like that.’

‘Where the hell does a twelve-year-old boy get cigarettes anyway?’ Remus asked.

‘Oh, there are ways. Especially if you’re rich.’

Remus nodded thoughtfully.

‘Being homeschooled doesn’t give you a lot of street smarts,’ he mused.

‘I guess,’ Sirius laughed. ‘Why were you?’

‘Homeschooled?’

‘Uh-huh.’

Remus took a long pull of his beer before he answered:

‘I… have a condition which meant I missed a lot of school days because I had to stay in bed. At one point it was just easier for mom to homeschool me because she could teach me in my bedroom.’

‘You’re sick?’

‘I don’t like to talk about it. Please.’

‘Sure. What do you study now? Evans tells me we’re going to the same university.’

Remus’ eyes lit up.

‘English lit! I want to be a university professor.’

Sirius thought it was endearing the way Remus launched into an explanation about Shakespeare and how the man had so obviously been queer so why had history straight-washed him…?

The others came back from their smoke. Peter and James went to the bar to get them yet another round of drinks.

‘Sorry about my boyfriend,’ Lily said and squeezed Sirius’ hand.

‘He’s alright.’

‘He’s a dick.’

‘Yeah well, you know how I feel about dicks,’ Sirius grinned.

Remus chocked on his beer and started coughing. Lily got up to pat his back and in the commotion Remus’ hood came off, revealing a big, white band-aid on his neck as well as several other, much older and whiter scars. They looked like cuts.

‘Whoa, what happened to you?’ Sirius exclaimed.

Remus instantly looked terrified. He pulled the hood back over his head and rose from the table so quickly he almost knocked over James who was arriving with more beers, then he darted towards the door. Sirius looked at Lily who made a face and darted after him. Sirius in turn darted after her. He caught up with them on the street outside, just in time to see Remus get into a taxi, before Lily turned towards him.

‘Is he going to be alright?’

‘He will be, he just needs to calm down a little.’

‘Was that because I saw the…’ Sirius said and indicated his own neck. Lily nodded. ‘Oh, shit. Sorry, I should have kept my bloody mouth shut.’

‘It’s alright. He needs to grow some thicker skin.’

Sirius looked to where the taxi was disappearing down the street.

‘Poor thing.’

‘No type, my ass,’ Lily muttered. Sirius didn’t register that until afterwards, when he was home in bed.

Having finished yet another beer, Lily finally got a text from the runaway. She showed it to Sirius.

 

_ Sorry I shipped out. Is Sirius upset with me? _

 

‘Say no, of course not,’ Sirius said. ‘Tell him I’m just worried about him.’

Lily grinned as she typed.

 

_ Tell him I’m fine, I just got spooked. _

 

‘Good,’ Sirius mused. ‘As him if I can send him a friend request?’

 

_ …sure. _

 

Sirius pulled up his phone and logged on to Facebook. Now that he knew the Golden boy’s name, he was easy to find among Lily’s friends. He sent the request and then stared at his phone until he got a notification saying Remus Lupin had accepted, then he started scrolling though his profile to see who this cute guy really was.

There were some pictures from what looked like a family trip that he was tagged in but no selfies, which struck Sirius as a little odd. Everyone took selfies these days. Fuck, Sirius couldn’t go through a day without posting at least _one_.

‘Doesn’t he take selfies?’ he absentmindedly asked Lily.

‘If I know Remus half as good as I’d like to think I do, I’d say he doesn’t know that’s a thing. He’s not a trendy guy,’ she said.

‘I… see.’

‘So… are you going to text him?’ she asked.

‘Yeah, are you?’ James asked and beamed at him.

‘I hate both of you!’ Sirius exclaimed and left the pub to the echo of their roaring laughter.

 

\----------------------------

 

Sirius woke up to the sound of the front door being slammed open and James calling out:

‘Don’t bother Kreach, it’s me!’

Fuck my life, Sirius had time to think before James slammed his bedroom door open.

‘Fuck you doing still in bed?’ James asked as he pulled the curtains apart and let way too much sunlight into Sirius’ bedroom.

‘Sleeping, dickwit,’ Sirius grumbled and turned away from him.

‘Get your lazy ass up you’re buying us all brunch.’

‘Of course I am?’

‘Because you scared poor Remus off yesterday. Look at it as a peace offering.’

Sirius sat up.

‘Well, I didn’t mean to. I just got worried about him, with the giant band-aid on his neck.’

‘And now you get a chance to explain that to him.’

‘He’s coming!?’ Sirius exclaimed and shot out of bed.

‘Easy tiger. He is, if Lily can convince him to.’

‘Aight.’

Sirius got dressed, brushed his teeth and pulled his sleep-messy hair into a bun, and then they were off.

‘So, do you like him or what?’ James asked once they were on the bus.

‘He’s… cute. I don’t know,’ Sirius said to the floor. James shoved his shoulder.

Lily, Peter and Remus were waiting for them on the street outside the café when they arrived. Sirius hugged Peter, kissed Lily and… realized he didn’t know how to greet Remus. It sorted itself out because Remus took a step back and waved. As the others went inside, Sirius lightly touched Remus’ elbow and said:

‘Can I talk to you?’ Remus frowned, but he stayed outside. Sirius continued: ‘Look, I don’t… I didn’t mean to be disrespectful last night.’

Remus looked him in the eyes. In the sunlight, the amber green of them seemed to sparkle like gold crested gems. Now that the sun was shining, Sirius noticed that his face had several more scars than the most prominent one across the bridge of his nose. He had plenty smaller ones littering the skin on hos cheekbones, mingled with faint freckles.

Other than the one Sirius had already noticed the night before, there were two more big scars visible. One on his jawbone, going down towards his neck, and one across his left eye, making that eye seem slightly duller in color than the other one.

Remus was once again dressed in long sleeves and full-length jeans, as well as the fingerless gloves, despite the heat. He had even gone so far, because he wasn’t wearing a hoodie but a Henley, to wear a scarf which covered the band-aid on his neck. Sirius wondered if all of these clothes were meant to cover up even more scars on the rest of his body.

‘What do you mean?’ Remus asked in a guarded voice.

‘When your hood came off and I saw the…’ Sirius touched the side of his neck. The gesture made Remus pull his scarf a little tighter around his own neck. ‘What I’m trying to say is I shouldn’t have commented and I’m sorry.’

Remus met his gaze.

‘Thank you. If I ever feel like sharing, I’ll let you know.’

‘Deal,’ Sirius said. ‘Do you want to go in?’

‘I guess. To be honest I hate this place. They put bacon grease on everything. Even the waffles. Who does that?’

‘Which is why James loves this place, but yeah. I get what you’re saying. The man is a walking heart attack waiting to happen,’ Sirius said.

‘Yeah, there’s that, and… I’m actually a vegetarian.’

‘ _Really_? Then I know a great place a few hundred meters down the street. They have these _amazing_ vegan bagels…’

Sirius hooked his arm in Remus’ and started walking. He kept talking about all the great options Remus would have at this place he had in mind while he texted James:

 

**You can have your bacon waffles but if you want brunch on me, Remus and I are going to Kiki’s for vegan bagels.**

They got their food and when none of the others had shown up, they went to the park to eat. Sirius did what he always did, kicked off his shoes and socks and dipped his feet in the fountain. Remus watched him for a while before he took off his own shoes and socks, rolled his jeans up a little and then dipped his feet, too. Sirius noticed he had tiny scars on his feet and ankles as well, but this time he knew better than to comment on that.

The boys ate and bathed their feet in silence. Once their food was out Sirius laid down on his back in the grass.

‘So, what do you do in your spare time, Remus?’

Remus laid down next to Sirius on the grass, resting the back of his head in his hands. He squinted at the sun.

‘I read a lot.’

‘Yeah, what?’

‘Classics, fantasy… fan fiction.’

Sirius glanced over and saw that Remus was blushing.

‘Thank you!’ he exclaimed. ‘James teases me relentlessly about it, but I have found so much gold in the treasure chest that is ao3.’

‘I know, right?’ Remus sounded relieved, like he had just offered Sirius a piece of his soul and had been sure he was going to be rejected because of it.

‘I owe that site so much,’ Sirius mused. ‘Like, my whole sex ed. Boarding schools are fine and all, but they have terrible sex ed.’

‘And gay sex ed?’

‘Nonexistent.’

‘I had sex ed with my mom.’

Sirius glanced over at Remus and saw the boy was about to start giggling. As soon as their eyes met, they both erupted.

‘Poor… homeschooled…’ Sirius laughed.

‘It was… horrible…’ Remus wheezed.

Finally, the laughter subsided. Remus wiped a tear from the corner of his eye.

‘She honest to god had a cucumber and a condom. Once I asked her about gay sex. I wanted to cover all bases once I realized I was bi, which she knew, but I thought she was going to die.

‘Thank god for ao3.’

‘ _Thank god_ for ao3.’

Remus looked at his wrist watch and sighed.

‘Sorry, I have to get home. I promised dad I’d help him clean out the basement this afternoon.’

‘Yeah. Sure man. Taxi or bus?’

‘Bus. We didn’t all grow up in mansions, Lord Black.’

‘Oh ha-ha. Come on, I’ll walk you.’


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius manages to get to know Remus better and Remus in turn meets Sirius family. Only, not by choice. Being friends with a lord can have its upsides though, as he finds out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I could not help myself, here's Another chapter already! Writing this fic makes my soul sing, I can't help but to.
> 
> Warning on homophobia, mentions of sexually trasmittable deceases, self-harm, blood, fist fights... uuhh. I think that's it.

Did you and Moony go to brunch all by yourselves?

 

**Moony?**

 

Remus.

 

**Again, Moony?**

 

Long story. Answer the question.

 

**…what are you insinuating, Evans?**

 

Nothing. Just asking.

 

***sigh***

 

**Yeah, he wasn’t over enthusiastic about having bacon slathered anything on account of being a vegetarian.**

 

And as the gentleman you are, you took him elsewhere?

 

**I’m a provider, Evans. It’s what I do.**

 

I know sweetie, and I love you for it.

 

\-----------------------

 

Sirius called Remus a couple of days later.

‘Remus.’

‘Hey man, it’s Sirius. I was thinking I’d take you out for beers tonight.’

‘Uh… yeah, I… I’m not…’

‘You don’t sound so good.’

‘Nah. I… uh… cold.’

‘Oh. No beers for you, then.’

‘No. Can’t… barely get up.’

Lily came walking down the hallway. Sirius held up a finger for her to hang on as he finished the call.

‘So, uh, get better and I’ll talk to you later, alright?’

‘Yes. So… uhm… thanks for calling.’

‘Course. Bye.’

He pocketed his phone.

‘Remus?’ Lily asked.

‘Yeah. I was wondering if he’d be up for beers tonight, but no.’

Lily smirked.

‘I’m actually… I’m on my way to see him. I promised I’d buy him some chocolate. Want to tag along? I could use a lift.’

‘Sure, yeah, I can give you a lift.’

‘Perfect,’ she smiled.

 

\---------------------------

 

The entire street was staring at them as the two teenagers rolled in on Sirius’ motorbike. They stopped outside the Lupin residence and Sirius killed the engine. They got off, deposited their helmets, and went to ring the doorbell. A middle-aged woman opened the door.

‘Lily! How nice to see you!’

‘Hope,’ Lily smiled. ‘How is he?’

‘He said he wanted me to leave him alone, but… physically he’s… better…’ She smiled at Sirius. ‘Who is this?’

‘Oh, I’m sorry ma’am. Where are my manners?’ Sirius said. ‘My name is Sirius Black.’ He kissed Hope’s hand.

‘Oh, my. Are you a friend of my son?’

‘I’d like to think so.’

‘Can we see him?’ Lily asked. ‘I got some candy for him, to cheer him up.’

‘Yes. Lyall will be at work for another couple hours. Go on up. I think it’ll do him good to have some company for a while. I’ll bring up tea.’

Lily showed Sirius up the stairs, to the first bedroom on the right. There was a mumbled: ‘Come in,’ heard from inside when Lily knocked. They entered.

‘Hey Moony,’ Lily said. ‘How are you holding up?’

‘Shitty,’ he groaned, ‘my body and my soul hurts, but I took my meds so I’ll…’ he trailed off when he noticed Sirius was standing behind Lily. ‘Oh, hi.’

‘He gave me a lift,’ Lily said.

Remus seemed to shrink in under his cover again. He was wearing a t-shirt, and the reason Sirius noted that was that it was the first time he had seen Remus in anything other than long sleeves. His arms were just as scarred as his neck, if not more. Sirius wondered what the fuck that condition was that he had, that gave him those marks. Was it cancer? Or, even worse, maybe he was HIV positive? Sirius would need to do some googling on this, he figured. If not… if he wasn’t maybe self-harming… Sirius pressed the thought down. Now wasn’t the time to dwell on it because the boy on the bed was obviously not feeling well.

Lily seemed to realize her friend was getting uncomfortable because she hung a blanket around his shoulders. He sat up in bed once his arms were covered and said:

‘Uh. Okay. Well, uhm, come in.’ he shifted a little and winced. He grabbed his left ribs, then noticed they were looking at him, so he continued mumbling: ‘I think I coughed a muscle broken.’

‘Poor thing,’ Lily said and sat down on the bed by his feet. ‘Here, we got you this.’ She handed him the grocery bag as Sirius sat down on the desk chair next to the bed.

‘Wait… you arriving, was that… the motorcycle I heard?’

Lily grinned widely and nodded.

‘It’s a Honda VT 750 Black Widow,’ Sirius said proudly. He might even have straightened his back a little.

Remus stared blankly at him.

‘I have no idea what any of that meant.’

‘It has two wheels and makes a lot of noise,’ Lily clarified. ‘And it’s fast.’

‘Bet the neighbors loved that,’ Remus chuckled.

‘If you’re nice I’ll let you ride her someday,’ Sirius said. Remus looked skeptical.

‘Don’t worry, Tash is a smooth ride,’ Lily said.

‘Tash?’

‘Natasha,’ Sirius clarified.

‘You named your motorcycle Natasha? Why?’

Sirius rolled his eyes.

‘Because she’s a Black Widow, why else, Moony?’

Remus smiled faintly.

‘Now _that_ reference I got.’

Remus opened the chocolate and nibbled on it.

‘Well, I’m glad you guys came…’ he started when there was a knock on the door. Remus’ mother was standing in the doorway with a tray containing a teapot and cups. Sirius got up.

‘Let me take that off your hands, Mrs. Lupin,’ he said.

‘Thank you, Sirius. Such a well-mannered boy. Your mother must be proud.’

Sirius gave her a faint smile and sat the tray down on Remus’ desk, then he served the two people on the bed before he made himself a cup and sat back down on the desk chair.

‘Still up for beers?’ Lily asked once they were outside again, an hour later. Remus had seemed happy that they had come but he was very tired and had basically fallen asleep, cradling his chocolate, when the tea was out.

‘Hell yes. Let’s drop Tash off at my place and we can go to the pub down the street, just the two of us. It’s been a while.’

 

\--------------------------

 

Sirius was in the study zone of his brain and actually got rather startled when a venti cup was suddenly placed on the table in front of him. He might even have flinched, but don’t tell anyone.

Remus sat down opposite him, as usually covered from head to toe. At this point though, with fall on its way, it was getting less odd.

‘Vanilla caramel latte,’ he said. ‘It’s your favorite, right?’

‘Uh, yes. Thanks.’

Sirius sipped the hot beverage.

‘I’m more of a tea-guy myself,’ Remus mused, ‘but I don’t judge.’

‘Hey, you can’t expect me to kick both nicotine _and_ caffeine the same year.’

‘I guess not. Anyway, I really wanted to apologize. I was a terrible host the other week when you came over. I’m sorry for my behavior.’

‘Dude, you were sick. I get it.’

‘But…’

‘Drop it. We’re cool. I actually also feel a little shitty for not having texted you, but I’ve been studying. I have a test coming up.’

‘Oh. Does that mean you’re too busy to hang out?’

‘Nah. I need a break. I’ve been burying myself in this for days.’

‘Do you want to… I don’t know… go see a movie, maybe?’

‘Yeah, sure.’

They ended up going to see Logan, but afterwards Sirius wasn’t able to tell if it had been any good or not because despite Hugh Jackman sporting some of his all-time favorite abs all he had thought about the entire movie was what it would feel like to hold Remus’ hand.

Afterwards Sirius bought them a serving of chips at a food truck, which they shared sitting on a low wall.

‘What does it feel like being out in the real world, making friends and shit?’

Remus chuckled.

‘It’s not like I’ve been living under a rock, Black.’

Sirius popped a chip in his mouth and chewed before he said:

‘Nah, but still.’

‘It’s nice. I’ve missed it, I guess.’

‘So, if you don’t want to answer, that’s fine, but I wanted to ask… This condition that kept you in the house, is it better now? Since your parents allow you to attend the University, I mean.’

‘I wouldn’t say better…’ Remus said and thought about it for a little while before he continued. ‘It’s… I _know_ it better. I’m more comfortable with it and I feel like I can handle it.’

‘Good. Is it… contagious?’

‘Contagious…’ Remus mused. He looked up at the sky as he was thinking. ‘Would that make you run away?’ he finally asked.

‘Nah. Just asking, really. I want to get to know you, Remus.’

‘Nah. It’s not contagious. Not on its own, and I’m medicated, so…’

Remus ran a hand through his messy hair. Sirius followed the hand and noticed for the first time that Remus had a tattoo of a moon crest behind his right ear. He decided to ask about it to change the subject as Remus was clearly uncomfortable talking about his illness.

‘Nice tattoo. Is that why Lily calls you Moony?’

Remus chuckled softly.

‘Yeah. I like it way better than the full one.’

‘Me, too. I always feel a little weird during the full moon.’

‘You and me, both.’

Sirius turned and realized Remus watching him with an unreadable expression. He found himself drawn in by those intense eyes. He leaned in a little closer. Remus got a little cross-eyed trying to look at Sirius this up close. He lifted a hand and placed it on Sirius’ cheek. Sirius took this as an invitation to close the gap between them, praying to all the deities he knew that he wouldn’t spook the other boy.

Their lips touched… almost. Remus, having leaned in too far, lost his balance on the wall and fell forward, face first into the asphalt. He sat up and held his face.

‘Fuck!’

Sirius jumped down to check on him. He grabbed Remus’ upper arm and pulled him to his feet. Remus winced.

‘Are you hurt? Shit, you’re bleeding.’

Remus touched his cheekbone.

‘Oh…’

‘Come on,’ I’ll drive you home.’

‘On your bike?’

‘Would you rather I paid for a taxi? Because I can do that, too, but then I can’t come with you because I don’t want to leave Tash on campus overnight.’

Remus seemed to ponder that for a moment.

‘You know what? I kind of curios to see what your girl has got in her.’

They walked back to campus and Tash. Sirius handed Remus the spare helmet, then he helped him get on and make himself comfortable. As Sirius took off, he felt Remus’ arms hold him firmly around the waist. He smiled to himself.

They pulled up outside the Lupin residence and Sirius killed the engine. Remus got off and removed his helmet. Sirius removed his one, too. Remus handed Sirius the spare helmet, and when Sirius had put it away, he saw Remus was picking at his clothes.

‘That was cool. I… had a really fun tonight,’ he mumbled.

‘Me too, Moony.’

‘If you’re gonna keep calling me that I need to figure out a nickname for you, too.’

‘James calls me Padfoot, or Pads, for short.’

‘Pads… I like it. Why Pads?’

‘I’ll show you, someday.’

Sirius reached out and stroke Remus’ cheek.

‘Hey Moony, let me take you out properly, on Friday?’

‘As much as I’d love that, I promised Lily to go clubbing on Friday.’

‘Shit, I totally forgot about that,’ Sirius swore.

‘You’re coming, too?’

‘Yeah. So, I guess I’ll see you Friday, then.’

‘Friday. But, uh, you know… Feel free to call, or text, or whatever. I mean, if you want.’

‘Yeah, I want. And I will.’

Sirius blew him a kiss, put his helmet back on, and drove off. He was rather pleased with himself for that smooth exit. It was one of his better ones.

 

\--------------------------

 

**I hate corporate law.**

 

_ Yet, you’re going to be a solicitor. _

 

_ You in class now? _

 

**Trying to stay awake, yeah. Only thing keeping me from snoring is trying to figure out my outfit for Friday.**

 

_ That’s… kind of gay. _

 

**Course it is. Any preferences?**

 

_ Well, I do like them gay, or bi, or pan… so no, no preferences.  _

 

**I didn’t mean partners, Moony. I meant clothes. On me, to clarify.**

 

There was a stretch of several minutes before Remus answered:

 

_ …leather. I do have a thing for men in leather. And to be honest I’ve never admitted that to anyone. _

 

Sirius blushed. Or, at least he thought he did, because his cheeks sure got real heated.

 

**I won’t tell anyone, promise Moony.**

 

_ Thanks, Pads. _

 

\--------------------------

 

On Friday night, James came to pick Sirius up. As usual he didn’t wait for Mr. Kreacher to open the door. He simply waltzed right into Sirius’ bedroom and found him on his bed, doing his makeup in black and glitter.

‘Hey, Pads.’

‘S’up? There’s champagne on the dresser. I’m almost done.’

‘Nice.’

James poured himself a glass and sat down in an armchair.

‘Where’s Peter?’

‘You know how he is about clubbing. His exact words when I called him was “Hell no”.’

‘…right. So, you’re saying it’s going to be you, me, Lily and Remus?’

James grinned.

‘S what I’m saying.’

‘Good God.’

Sirius placed a last touch of glitter on his eyelid and nodded to himself in the mirror.

‘I look great.’

‘You do. Ready?’

‘Yeah. Let’s go sweep some people off their feet.’

Sirius swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up.

‘Are you wearing leather pants? Can you even move in those things?’

‘I can move just fine, and they do make my ass look absolutely stunning.’

‘Uh…’ James said and looked at him. ‘Rather you than me, man.’

Sirius rolled his eyes.

‘You’re so painfully hetero,’ James.

James downed the champagne and they left.

 

\----------------------------

 

James and Sirius met up with Lily and Remus outside the club. Lily kissed Sirius and said:

‘Wow, you went all out Adam Lambert tonight, didn’t you, Siri?’

‘I tried my best,’ Sirius said. He hugged Remus.

‘Hey man. How’s the face?’

Remus grazed the bruise on his cheekbone.

‘Uh, alright. It’s just gonna be a small scar among the others,’ he mumbled quietly so only Sirius could hear him.

‘Looks like it’s healing up alright.’

Sirius realized that he still had his arm around the other boy and that Lily was eyeing him. He let go as he cleared his throat, then he slung his arm around James’ shoulder and steered him towards the entry. Behind him, he heard Remus’ voice whispering to Lily:

‘He’s killing me in those things.’

Sirius smirked to himself. That _had_ been the plan.

Sirius wasted no time in getting his friends to the bar as they got in. He ordered them all shots which he distributed among them. Lily and James downed theirs. Remus eyed his suspiciously. Sirius leaned closer so he could hear him over the pounding music.

‘Never had one of these before?’

‘No, and I’m afraid I’ll puke.’

Sirius placed his hand on Remus shoulder.

‘There’s a pretty handy trick to it. Inhale – exhale – drink – inhale. That way you don’t have to taste the alcohol fumes. Like this:’

Sirius made a show of taking a deep breath, letting it go, downing his shot and then inhaling deeply. Remus tried it, too, and seemed to find that it wasn’t as bad as he had anticipated. He smiled down at Sirius who met his gaze for a couple of seconds but then he had to look away. If alcohol made Sirius bashful it seemed to make Remus rather brave, Sirius mused. Remus looked to their side. Sirius followed Remus’ eyes and saw that Lily was leading James to the dance floor. Remus raised an eyebrow and jutted his head towards the dance floor. Sirius took his hand and led him there.

Lily and James were grinding against each other on the dance floor. Sirius wondered for a second if he would dare but Remus took the lead. His hips fitted so perfectly against Sirius’ it should be considered a crime they weren’t naked.

Remus placed a hand on Sirius’ waist. The other came up to rest on his neck. Sirius was trying, and, he was very certain, failing to _not_ get an erection. However, he figured it was alright because Remus was very obviously hard, too. The skinny jeans he was wearing did nothing to hide that fact. Remus leaned closer and said:

‘Those pants are killing me, Black.’

Sirius rolled his hips and was rewarded with a loud moan right in his ear.

‘Don’t they make my ass look amazing, though?’ Sirius teased.

‘Your ass, and your… front,’ Remus decided on.

‘I was hoping you’d say that.’

‘Should have known you were a bloody tease,’ Remus grumbled. He buried his fingers in Sirius’ hair and pulled. Sirius moaned. He looked up and met Remus’ gaze.

‘Fucking hot in that makeup, too,’ Remus growled.

‘It’s all for you.’

‘Yeah?’

‘Yes.’

Sirius placed his hand on the small of Remus’ back. Remus used his thigh to press against Sirius’ erection. His face was so close to Sirius now, it would have been so easy to lean up and kiss him, but Sirius didn’t. Thing was, he was super turned on by Remus taking the lead and he wanted Remus _to kiss him_. Remus used his hand in Sirius’ hair to guide him closer and finally their lips met.

Remus was a hard, deliberate kisser, totally opposite of what Sirius had expected him to be. Sirius was in heaven. Remus’ hands were everywhere. That one shot had really loosened his inhibitions. Sirius glanced over to where he had last seen James and Lily. They were watching their friends and grinning. Sirius flipped them off, then he smiled at them. James gave him a thumbs up before he reattached his lips to Lily’s neck.

Remus’ lips where on his, then on his neck, behind his ear… Sirius’ head was spinning from arousal, strobe lights and the pounding of the music. He felt like he was losing his grip, so he grabbed Remus around the waist and steered him towards the bar where he ordered a glass of water. He held Remus pinned against the bar as he drank half of it, then he gave the other half to Remus. The other boy drank it.

‘Thanks, I needed that.’

‘Thought you felt a little hot back there,’ Sirius smirked.

‘And here I thought you were into that,’ Remus smiled down at him.

‘Hot, yes. Overheated, not so much.’

Remus squirmed out from under Sirius and placed the glass on the bar. A guy their own age, maybe slightly older, passed them by and gave Remus a shove in the shoulder blade. Sirius saw how Remus winced, no doubt he already had a cut or a bruise or something on that spot.

Sirius saw red.

He didn’t care _why_ the guy had shoved Remus. He didn’t even know what was _actually_ wrong with Remus, but the boy was chronically ill, and you just didn’t do that to people who were sick. He grabbed the guy by the arm and spun him around.

‘Oi! What the fuck!?’ Sirius shouted.

‘Lay off me, faggot!’ When Sirius frowned, the guy tore his arm free and took a step closer before he continued: ‘Yeah, I saw you two on the dance floor earlier.’

‘Is that why you shoved him?’

‘What? Your boyfriend can’t defend himself?’

‘I’m sure he can handle himself just fine, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be a gentleman,’ Sirius smiled sweetly.

Remus put his hand on the small of Sirius’ back.

‘Pads, it’s not worth…’

Sirius went down when a fist struck his right eye.

‘Oh, fuck being a gentleman,’ Remus growled. He charged the guy and got one pretty good hit in the guy’s stomach. The guy folded double and puked on the floor. Remus had time to grin victoriously before one of his friends punched him in the nose. Blood started gushing. That’s when the security guards intervened. Remus and Sirius were put in one police car and their sparring partners were put in another before they drove away. Remus was still bleeding. Sirius tore a piece of fabric off the bottom of his tank top and used it to stem the blood flow.

‘You okay there, Moony?’

‘Yeah,’ Remus grinned. ‘You?’

Sirius gently touched his right eye.

‘Going to be pretty fucking sore in the morning, but I’ll live. That’s a decent punch you can throw. 

‘Thanks, hon.’

Remus seemed to instantly realize he had let slip an endearment because his eyes widened, then he said:

‘That looks like a crop top, now.’

Sirius looked down at his waist and chuckled.

‘It’s a good look on you,’ Remus continued. ‘Sorry about your tank top, though.’

‘Well, I still have the pants.’

‘Yes. And I hope you realize that I’m never gonna let you throw those away.’

‘I promise, Moony.’

 

\--------------------------

 

The two boys were sitting next to each other in the cell. Remus’ nose was swollen, although it wasn’t bleeding anymore, and Sirius’ eye was slowly turning purple. They had been in there for two hours when suddenly, the guard came walking and unlocked the door.

‘You’re free to go, Lord Black,’ he said.

‘What?’ Sirius questioned.

‘You’ve been bailed out,’ the guard clarified. Your father is waiting for you.’

Sirius looked at Remus, then at the guard.

‘What about him?’

‘Just you.’

‘Go, Pads. I’ll be fine. It’s only until morning, I’ll manage.’

‘No! You saved my ass back there. I’m not going unless you do. You can tell my father that,’ Sirius said.

The guard left. After a couple of minutes, he came back with Orion in tow. The older Black glared at his son sitting behind the bars of the cell.

‘Come on now, on, don’t make a scene. The press is having a field day with this thing as it is without you making it any worse.’

‘Then bail Remus out, too.’

Orion sighed and rolled his eyes dramatically.

‘Your mother is doing that as we speak.’

‘Alright, then. Are you _all_ here?’

‘Yes, son, we’re all here. You were arrested, of course we have to come look for ourselves.’

‘ _Of_ _course_ you did,’ Sirius deadpanned. ‘Come on, Moony, let’s go.’

Remus got up and pulled Sirius to his feet, too, then they walked out with Orion behind them. Walburga and Regulus were waiting for them as they exited the holding area.

‘Mother!’ Sirius exclaimed and ran up to hug her. She embraced him.

‘Oh, Sirius, you’re alright. I was so worried. Let me look at you.’ She examined his face and winced at the black eye he had, then she turned to Remus. ‘This a friend of yours?’

‘Hello, ma’am, my name is Remus. Nice to meet you.’

‘And you. I’m glad Sirius is making other friends than that Potter-boy.’

‘Actually…’ Remus started, but Sirius cut him off.

‘Actually, we’re super tired, can we go home?’ Sirius asked.

‘Yes. We’re staying at a hotel in town,’ Orion said. ‘Tomorrow we’re expecting you for tea at Harrods at three o’clock.’

‘And I’ll be there. Thank you, father. Mother.’

The boys turned around to leave, when Regulus piped up for the first time since they had gotten there.

‘Oi! Faggot!’ They both turned around, both of them feeling hit by his words. Regulus smiled to himself. ‘I knew it,’ he said.

Remus took two steps towards Regulus with his fist raised before Sirius caught him.

‘We’re at a police station, it’s not worth it,’ he mumbled so only Remus could hear him. Remus gave Regulus a hateful look and turned away. ‘Let’s just get home. You can stay at my place,’ Sirius continued quietly. ‘Please?’

‘…alright. But one more word from him and the rat gets it,’ Remus growled.

‘One more word from him and I’ll be cheering you on. However, we _just_ got bailed out. I don’t want you back in that cell this soon.’

‘You’re… yeah. You’re right. Lets go, Pads.’

‘That’s enough,’ Walburga said to Regulus.

‘But mother…’

She slapped the back of his head, then she grabbed her seventeen-year-old son by the arm like he was a toddler with a temper tantrum and pulled him outside to the waiting car. She turned around and said sweetly:

‘See you for tea tomorrow, son. I do hope your nice friend will join us so we can get to know him better.’

Remus looked at Sirius with a puzzled look.

‘Why would they want to get to know me better?’

Sirius rolled his eyes.

‘Because she assumes that we’re dating. You know just as well as I do that two people who have the possibility of being attracted to each other can’t just be friends.’

Remus looked him up and down.

‘Well, Black, you are making being just friends rather hard for me in those pants.’

‘Am I now? I was kind of hoping I’d might.’

They were on the street. Sirius stopped them a taxi and they got in.

‘Twelve Grimmauld Place,’ he said, then he placed a hand on Remus thigh. ‘If you make it quick there’s a nice tip in it for you.’


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius is having the best time of his life, together with his new, amazing boyfriend. Too bad it doesn't last forever… Sirius Thinks he has a pretty good idea now what's actually wrong with his boyfriend, only to have Everything pulled out from under him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANGST TIME!
> 
> Also smut. But then angst.

The taxi driver got them home in a matter of minutes. Sirius gave him a note that more than doubled what the taximeter was saying he owed, then they got out. Sirius took Remus by the hand and pulled him close.

‘Why aren’t your family staying here? It’s their house, too, right?’ Remus mumbled.

‘They don’t like it. They think it’s creepy. Dad actually offered to by me an apartment close to campus, but I’ve always said I want to live here so he signed the house over to me instead. Poor Kreach came with the deal.’

Sirius placed a kiss on Remus’ neck.

‘Well I’m glad they decided to stay at a hotel instead,’ Remus breathed.

‘Me too,’ Sirius hummed. He slid his finger from the spot between Remus’ shoulder blades, down along his back and then rubbed between his buttocks, on the jeans. Remus moaned loudly, and suddenly Sirius found himself blindly groping for the door knob while Remus’ hand was massaging his groin. He found the knob, turned it and the two of them tumbled indoors.

As soon as the door was closed Remus ripped off the remainder of Sirius’ tank top and tossed it away. His eyes were wandering up and down Sirius’ naked upper body. In the darkness of the hallway, Remus looked predatory, with an amber glow to his golden green eyes. Then Remus blinked hard and it passed. Sirius slipped one hand inside Remus’ shirt. Remus tensed when Sirius’ fingers grazed the skin on the small of his back.

‘Where’s your room?’

‘Come.’

Sirius took Remus by the hand and pulled him into his bedroom. Remus looked around the opulent room: the four-poster bed, the three-mirror makeup table, the floor-to-ceiling velvet curtains and the stuffed couch and armchairs in front of the fireplace. He whistled, and he hadn’t even seen the walk-in closet yet. That in itself was as big as his entire room, Sirius thought.

Remus sat down on the bed. It was high enough so that Sirius could stand between his legs and not have to bend down in order to kiss him. He unbuttoned the first to buttons on Remus’ button-down shirt when Remus placed his hands on Sirius’ to stop him. Now that the initial head had worn off a little Remus seemed more hesitant.

‘I… I need you to know something,’ he said. ‘B-before we go any further.’

Sirius cupped his face.

‘Tell me, Moony.’

‘I don’t look good,’ he mumbled.

‘I think so.’

‘No, I mean… The scars… they aren’t just on my neck… or hands… They’re _everywhere_.’

‘I saw your arms when I visited you with Lily. I kind of figured already.’

‘So, you don’t mind?’

‘Scars are just evidence that you’ve lived, Moony. So maybe you have more than most, however… that doesn’t make you any less attractive to me. It doesn’t make me any less attracted to you. You’re super hot, scars don’t change that.’

Sirius kissed Remus’ neck, just below the ear. He ghosted his lips along one of the more prominent scars peeking up from where he had already opened the buttons and followed it up on Remus’ neck. Then he looked up at Remus who nodded slightly, so he started unbuttoning the rest of the shirt.

Sirius took in the full view of topless Remus. He sure was a sight. Yes, as he had said there were scars, but that didn’t take away any of the beauty of the half-naked boy in Sirius’ bed.

‘You’re bloody beautiful,’ Sirius breathed.

Remus blushed.

‘Pads…’

Sirius crawled into bed so he was straddling Remus, and started unbuttoning his jeans.

‘No, I mean it. You… you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I need to thank your parents because honestly…’

Sirius placed a kiss on Remus’ happy trail, then his hip, as he slowly pulled the jeans off. He took a step down from the bed, threw the jeans into a corner and realized Remus’ underwear had gone with them.

Remus was lying naked on the cover, tentatively stroking himself, as if to figure out what he was supposed to do with his erect dick. Sirius whimpered at the sight.

‘Moony… Fuck…’ he said and started taking his own pants off. Suddenly he felt like he was in a hurry and he didn’t want to waste another second _not_ fucking. As soon as his incredibly hot (in both temperature and fashion) leather pants were on the floor, Sirius opened a drawer in his makeup table and pulled out a bottle of lube and a condom. He tossed the lube to Remus who was now leaning his back against the pillows before he crawled into bed with him, holding the condom between his teeth. He opened it as Remus opened the tube and then handed to Sirius, he shook his head. Remus looked confused for a second, like he didn’t know what to do with it.

‘I want _you_ to fuck _me_ ,’ Sirius whispered. He started rolling the condom on Remus’ hard dick, then he looked up at him. ‘Moony, have you ever…?’

Remus blushed and looked away as he fiddled with the tube. Sirius swung one of his legs over Remus so he was straddling his chest, then he grabbed the tube from his hand and took Remus by the hand. He squirted some lube on Remus’ finger, then he guided the boy’s hand towards his own butt. Remus seemed to get the hint, because he slid his hand along the crease before he pressed one of the fingers inside. Sirius moaned wantonly when Remus pulled his finger out and then pressed it inside again.

He wasted no time in getting his second finger in there. Sirius had to start stroking himself because it felt too good and he didn’t know what to do with himself. Remus was moaning just as much as he was. Sirius was awed that the boy was turned on just by fingering Sirius, but he wasn’t about to complain about it because he got to have all the fun.

Sirius pushed up on his knees, and that placed his dick right in front of Remus’ face. Remus reached out and tentatively licked the head, then he seemed to decide it tasted good because he licked it again, more greedily this time, before he took the head in his mouth and sucked on it. Sirius moaned loudly.

‘One more,’ he moaned when he thought Remus was taking too long to stretch him open. ‘I can take it.’

Remus did as he was told. Sirius tilted forwards and rested his forehead on Remus’ shoulder. Suddenly all air left Sirius and he saw stars.

‘Fuck!’ he called out.

Remus grinned and did it again, then he pulled his fingers out, the fucking tease that he was. However, Sirius didn’t have to grieve for very long because he felt the tip of Remus’ dick against his butt. He straightened up and held onto Remus’ shoulders to brace himself.

‘I’m going to sink down now. You ready? It will be tight.’

‘I’m ready,’ Remus said in a husky voice. It made Sirius shiver. He flexed the muscles in his thighs and sunk down on Remus’ dick. Remus moaned loudly as he felt Sirius’ muscles tense around him when he sunk in.

Sirius sat still for a while to adjust both himself and Remus to this new sensation, then he slowly pushed up a few centimeters, before he sunk down again. Remus’ fingernails were digging into his hips. It stung him in a good way and made Sirius insanely turned on. This skinny boy had some muscle on him, Sirius could attest the way he held him. Now he was helping push Sirius up and down so he could do a little faster, making both of them moan wantonly.

Remus made a strangled noise in the back of his throat, which made Sirius open his eyes and look at him. His face was red and sweat was pearling along his hairline.

‘Close?’ Sirius breathed.

‘Uh… fuck,’ Remus growled and closed his eyes. ‘Yes.’

Sirius let go of one of Remus’ shoulders and took his dick in his own hand. He started stroking it, taking himself closer to the edge. As he felt that he was almost there, he leaned in and moaned in Remus’ ear, making his dick pulse inside of him. Sirius released his own held back orgasm and came screaming Remus’ name.

 

\------------------------------

 

When Sirius woke up that next morning Remus was lying awake next to him. He was scrolling through his phone but when he noticed that Sirius was watching him, he put it down.

‘Hope you don’t mind I borrowed your charger?’ he asked in a groggy voice.

‘Nah, ‘s fine.’

‘Thanks. Good morning.’

‘Morning,’ Sirius replied. ‘How’d you sleep?’

‘Your bed is like a cloud.’

‘I know, right?’

Sirius turned to lay on his side so he could kiss Remus good morning. It was just supposed to be the one kiss, but it quickly turned into two, three, four… Remus’ hands started wandering. One found Sirius’ hard dick and one found his chest. Remus suddenly flipped them around, so he was lying on top of Sirius, between his thighs. He let the hand that had been stroking his dick wander down to Sirius’ ass and slide along the crease. His eyes widened.

‘You’re still… loose…’ he moaned.

‘S how it works,’ Sirius said and squirmed. ‘Takes a while to… ah… close up.’

Remus sat back on his haunches and spread Sirius’ legs so he could look at him properly. Sirius had never been the bashful type, but now, with how Remus was eyeing him, he kind of felt it.

Then Remus did something that Sirius hadn’t expected, he leaned down and licked him. He was _rimming_ him. Sirius hadn’t thought Remus had it in him, but he was proven wrong as he squirmed and whimpered as Remus’ tongue brought him to the brink of orgasm, then he stopped. Sirius opened his eyes just in time to see Remus roll on a fresh condom, lube himself up and then make good use of the fact that Sirius was still loose from last night.

Afterwards, as they were cuddling in bed, Sirius asked:

‘Would it be okay with you if I started referring to you as my boyfriend?’

Remus didn’t say anything, but Sirius could see him blushing.

‘…sure,’ he croaked out after a little while.

‘Gee, Moony, don’t hold back on the enthusiasm,’ Sirius laughed.

Remus shifted a little beside him.

‘I didn’t mean to… I just wasn’t expecting…’

‘You didn’t expect what? That I’d actually _like_ you?’ I haven’t made that clear?’

‘...you have, but… I think it’s hard for me to believe it anyway. Haven’t got the highest thoughts about myself,’ he mumbled.

‘Why?’

Remus shifted uncomfortably again.

‘Can I guess?’ Sirius continued. Remus nodded. ‘Well, I’d guess then that it has something to do with this illness or condition or whatever it is that you’ve got. I don’t know exactly since you’re clearly uncomfortable talking about it. However, since I don’t know what it is, I can’t hold your condition against you so you’re safe there. Not that I’d do that anyway, but… Please don’t think that about me.’

Remus was quiet for a while before he whispered:

‘Aren’t you going to ask what’s wrong with me?’

‘Nah. I trust you’ll tell me when you’re ready. And… if it was sexually transmittable, you’d have let me know before we had sex.’

‘It isn’t.’

‘And there went my biggest guess. I had my money on you being HIV positive, but I got unsure yesterday when you said you were a virgin, so…’

‘Yes, I was.’

‘Emphasis on _was_ ,’ Sirius grinned.

Remus blushed, and Sirius did too, as he thought about some of the things, they had done to each other last night.

‘Wait a minute,’ Remus said. ‘You thought that… yesterday, you still thought that maybe I was HIV positive, but you still had sex with me?’

‘We used protection.’

‘Yeah, but still…’

Sirius kissed Remus on the cheek.

‘Just let it go, Moony.’ He trailed one of his fingers along the scar going from Remus’ shoulder and up his neck. ‘You’ll tell me when you’re ready.’

‘You’re putting an awful lot of faith in me.’

Sirius smirked and kissed him.

 

\----------------------------

 

Remus hadn’t been feeling very well the last couple of days, so when Hope and Lyall were going away for a few days to visit her mother Hope coaxed Remus to invite his new boyfriend over, to stay in the house with him. Sirius had asked if Remus wanted to live in his house, since he had a servant who could take care of them, but he had actually admitted to not being well and said that he was more comfortable in his own house when he was sick like this.

As Sirius killed the engine on his motorbike, Remus opened the door and waited for him to get in the house. He looked pale and was holding on to the door post. Sirius kissed his cheek and snaked his arm around Remus’ waist.

‘You okay there, babe? You shouldn’t be up, you don’t look so good.’

‘I’m alright…’ Remus said, then he coughed. Sirius supported him into the kitchen and deposited him along with his own backpack on the wooden sofa under the window.

‘Has Hope and Lyall left already?’

‘Just ten minutes ago. Dad wanted to wait until you got here but mom kept bugging him about being late so eventually he gave in,’ Remus smiled faintly.

Sirius grinned. He had been in Remus’ kitchen before and knew his way around fairly alright. He opened the cabinet and took the kettle out, then he made them a cup of tea each. He handed one to Remus as he sat down.

‘So, what’s wrong with you?’ he asked.

Remus shrugged.

‘The usual,’ he mumbled.

‘Something I need to know about now that I’m supposed to keep you alive while Hope and Lyall are out?’

Remus gave him a deadpan look.

‘You are _not_ here to keep me alive, Pads, I can manage that myself perfectly, thank you. You’re here to keep me company.’

Sirius grinned.

‘I know. Still…’

‘Nah. I know which meds to take and when. And, believe it or not, I’m actually really serious about taking my meds properly. I know they help me, so you don’t have to worry.’

‘Good. I’m just going to feed you, then. Have you had anything today?’

Remus shook his head.

‘I’ve been feeling kind of nauseous.’

‘Well, you need to eat _something_. If I order fried rice, will you eat?’

‘Well,’ Remus said and grinned. ‘Fried rice _is_ fried rice, after all.’

They ended up having the fried rice in Remus’ bed, because Sirius thought he looked like he was about to keel over any minute now. Half-lying against the headboard, Sirius managed to get soy sauce on himself, because of course.

‘Shit! Have any napkins or something?

‘There’s some wet wipes in the drawer,’ Remus offered and indicated the nightstand.

‘ _Of_ _course_ there are,’ Sirius grinned. Remus blushed and looked away.

Sirius opened the drawer. He felt around for a little while until his fingers found plastic and pulled it out, but it wasn’t what he had expected. In fact, what he found wasn’t something he had ever anticipated finding in Remus’ room.

‘You smoke weed?’ he exclaimed.

Remus’ eyes widened, then he blushed.

‘It’s medicinal,’ he mumbled.

Sirius examined the bag.

‘It’s a Ziplock bag with a sticker of a pink skull on it. I very much doubt it’s medicinal.’

Remus took Sirius by the wrist and gently coaxed his hand to put the weed back where he had found it.

‘I don’t know. Mom buys it. She says it’s medicinal.’

Sirius grinned.

‘You’re trying to make me believe that _Hope_ buys you this?’

Remus nodded.

‘It’s not like I use it often, but… sometimes… a couple times a month, when the pain gets too intense, it helps when the painkillers aren’t enough.’ He looked down. ‘I know it’s not good, but neither is not sleeping because of the pain. The first time she bought it, I hadn’t slept for forty-eight hours because of it. She said the hell with it, went out for an hour and came back with weed. I slept for twelve hours after that first joint.’

‘Oh, babe, I’m so, so, sorry you have to go through this,’ Sirius said and leaned his forehead against Remus’. Remus shrugged. Sirius put the weed back into the drawer, found the wet-wipes and looked at them for a second before he took one out and cleaned himself off.

‘I don’t know what this is, he said, but if you ever need anything to make you feel better, let me know, okay?’

Remus nodded. Sirius leaned down in bed and held his arms out.

‘Come on, Moony. Let’s just cuddle for now.’

Remus laid down and placed his head on Sirius chest.

 

\---------------------------

 

The next few months went by in a pink haze for Sirius. He was head over heels in love with this boy, in a way he had never thought he’d be in anyone. Any time they got, they spent together, but between all their classes, friends and Remus’ illness, there wasn’t much time they had on their own.

Remus was sick a lot, too. There was several days every month where he felt too bad to even have Sirius come over and just watch a movie in bed. Sirius had started getting worried about him, and since Remus still refused to talk about whatever his illness was, except that Sirius had no chance on catching it during sex, he was left in the dark. He had, however, started putting two and two together.

Once, Remus had asked him to get something from his bathroom, and Sirius had accidentally found bottles with both anxiety-reducing medication and anti-depressants in his cabinet. And this one time when he came over, Remus had had his left wrist wrapped in bandages. By now, Sirius was fairly sure his boyfriend was suffering from depression and used self-harm to cope, so he had started reading up on it. When he tried talking to Remus about it thought, the boy got upset and told him off, claiming he was just clumsy and hurt himself easily. Sirius had to resort to just trying to be there for him, on Remus’ own terms.

 

\----------------------------

 

Sirius hadn’t seen Remus for a few days, on account of him being sick again, so when he saw his boyfriend sitting on the bench from a distance he was thrilled. He said goodbye to the classmate he had been walking from class with and crossed the grass to get to him. He stopped in his tracks as he got closer.

‘Are those… crutches?’ he questioned cautiously.

Remus looked up at him and smiled.

‘Hey. Uhm… yeah. They are. I fell down the stairs and sprained my ankle. Clumsy, huh?’

Sirius sat down next to him on the bench and kissed his cheek.

‘You’re the only person I know that could manage something like that. Does it hurt?’

‘Only when I try to walk on it.’

‘Duh.’

Remus smiled.

‘Nah, I’m alright. Dad drove me to the hospital, and they bandaged me up. Dad thought it was broken for real at first.’

‘Luckily it wasn’t.’

Remus nodded. Sirius decided, since Remus seemed to be in a good mood today, to ask about it again.

‘You getting easily hurt like this, does it have anything to do with your condition?’

Remus looked away for a little while, before he seemed to decide to throw Sirius a bone for once.

‘…yeah. Mom says I should be more careful, not to force him… it. Not to force it.’

Sirius got a cold lump in his stomach.

‘You said _him_.’

‘No, I didn’t.’

Remus got up on his crutches. Sirius was still sitting on the bench, looking up at him.

‘You said _him_ , Moony. Did… did Lyall do this to you? Has he been abusing you?’

‘No.’

‘Someone has. I… I’ve been an idiot. I thought you were sick, that you… I thought you were hurting yourself to cope with depression or something, but it didn’t really fit.’

Remus refused to meet his eyes. It was all the confirmation Sirius needed.

‘I have to get home,’ Remus mumbled. ‘It’s late.’

‘Are you sure? You can stay at my place.’

‘No, I have to… go.’

Remus turned and limped off. Sirius was left sitting on the bench, staring after him and looking deflated.

 

\--------------------------

 

Sirius went home, but he couldn’t focus on his homework. The fact that he was now sure Lyall Lupin was abusing his son was eating at Sirius. He needed some confirmation. He hopped on his motorbike and drove to Lily’s house. He didn’t even wait until she had properly let him in before he asked:

‘Is Lyall beating Remus?’

Lily looked at him, puzzled.

‘Where are you getting this from?’

‘He’s on crutches, Lily.’

‘Is he?’

‘Yeah. And when we were talking, his tongue slipped. He implied someone had done that to him, because I had been worried about him doing… him hurting himself. I know he’s on anti-depressants. But then he said that, and… Lily, I’m asking you again. Is Lyall hurting Remus?’

‘No, he’s not. Remus is just clumsy, Sirius. He fell down the stairs.’

Sirius flinched.

‘Lily?’

‘Yes?’

‘You said he fell down the stairs?’

Lily frowned.

‘Uh, yes.’

‘But… you didn’t know he was even _on_ crutches when I came here.’

‘Yes, I did.’

‘No. No! I told you that. I said: He’s on crutches, and then you said: Is he? You’re covering for him, too! I can’t believe this! What the actual fuck, Evans!?’

‘Look, Remus doesn’t want to make a big deal out of…’

‘Fuck that.’

Sirius pushed past Lily and put on his helmet in the process. He hopped on his bike and sped off. Sirius only slowed down when he reached the street that the Lupins resided on. He killed the engine outside the house and stalked up the little pathway to the door. Hope answered.

‘Hi, dear.’

‘Is he home?’

‘Yes, hang on. Remus!’

It took a minute for Remus to get to the door on his crutches but soon enough he peeked his face out.

‘Hey,’ Sirius said. His expression softened when he was in his Moony’s presence.

‘Hey,’ Remus echoed. Something in his voice was off.

‘What’s wrong?’

Remus closed his eyes for a second.

‘Look, Pads, I can’t…’

‘You can’t what?’

Behind him, Lyall came walking from upstairs with a cricket bat in his hand. Sirius tried to open the door, but Remus held it firmly.

‘Please don’t,’ he said.

‘Moony, I… I can take you away from this place. I can keep you safe, you know I can. Please just come with me.’

‘No, it’s alright Pads, you’re wrong.’

‘No, I’m not.’

‘Yes, you are. Not that it matters.’

Remus blinked hard and tears trickled down his cheeks. Sirius reached out to wipe them off. Remus leaned into the touch for a second, but then he turned his face away. The gesture gave Sirius a cold knot in his stomach. Remus couldn’t mean…? Was he trying to…?

‘What do you mean?’ Sirius croaked out.

Remus took a long, shaky breath and said:

‘We… can’t do this. Us. You and me.’

‘Of course we can.’

‘No, please Pads, don’t make this harder than it has to be. Dating me is dangerous for you.’

‘I can handle it, please Moony.’

‘No, you can’t. You have no idea.’

‘Then tell me!!’

Sirius saw Hope flinch in the kitchen behind Remus’ back. He sighed deeply as he balled his fists at his sides. This wasn’t the time.

‘I can’t,’ Remus mumbled.

‘Moony…’

Remus was crying floods now. Why was _he_ crying? Sirius wondered. He was the one ending this. He shouldn’t be the one crying. Sirius should. That thought brought tears to Sirius eyes. He couldn’t remember the last time he had cried, but now he did.

‘Pads, please…’

‘Don’t call me that. Don’t call me that unless you fucking mean it!!’

‘Sorry…’

‘You’re really serious about this?’

‘Yes.’

Sirius stared at him for a moment before he turned, walked back to his motorcycle and straddled it. Remus was still watching him from the front door. When he was sitting on his bike, Sirius met his eyes.

‘I love you,’ he said.

‘I know,’ Remus mumbled. ‘I’m sorry.’

Sirius blinked back the tears in his eyes, put his helmet on and sped off.

 

\-------------------------

 

James did his usual bursting into Sirius’ room and found him sitting on the floor, his back against the bed and polaroid photos littering the floor around him. They were mostly of Remus, but also of the both of them, playing around with the camera. He had a bottle of scotch in his hand and he had obviously been crying because his nose was puffy, and his eyeliner was smeared. Also, he wasn’t wearing pants, but to his credit he did have boxers on. James sat down on the floor beside him and took the bottle. He swallowed a mouthful of the bitter liquid, then he handed it back to Sirius. Sirius didn’t drink, he merely cradled the bottle. Considering how much was already missing from that bottle, James thought it was probably for the best.

‘So, Lily told me what happened.’ James said.

Sirius nodded slowly.

‘Want to tell me about it?’

‘I think…’ Sirius started, but then his voice gave in and he started sobbing. James put an arm around his shoulders and guided Sirius to lean against him. After several minutes, when Sirius seemed to have cried himself dry, he made another attempt. ‘I asked him if… you know he’s been having all these cuts and bruises and… I… I was thinking… maybe… maybe he self-harms or something, but… but he’s told me he doesn’t… and I believed him… that it’s because he’s sick… but now… he has a sprained ankle, James.’ Sirius sat up and looked at his best friend. ‘He said he fell down the stairs, but something sounded off about it.’ Now he sounded less sad and more angry. ‘His tongue slipped. He said, “Mom says I shouldn’t force him…” and then he didn’t want to talk about it anymore. I think Lyall is hurting him and he’s protecting the bastard for some reason.’ Sirius sighed.

‘So, what did you do?’ James asked.

‘I let him go, then I thought better of it and went to his house to talk to him. He didn’t want to let me in, he said it was dangerous for me to be dating him and he broke up with me. Lyall was standing right there, watching him like a bloody hawk, James. He said he didn’t want to see me anymore, so I left.’

‘And now what?’

Sirius shrugged.

‘What can I do? I could call the police, but I don’t have any proof. And if Moony won’t testify…’

‘Maybe you should just apologize to him, pretend it didn’t happen and… I don’t know. You can protect him if you’re together but do it on his terms.’

‘I tried that. That’s when he said it was dangerous for me. I think this is really over, Prongs.’

‘Fuck… but you guys seemed so happy together.’

‘Yeah, well, I thought so, too.’

‘Hey man. Put some pants on and we’ll go out. This place is depressing. The last thing you need right now is to look at these photos.’

‘I’m not really in the mood.’

‘We’ll just go down the street to the pub. Put some pants on and I’ll clean this place up a little.’

Sirius sighed.

‘All right.’

He went into his closet and put a pair of ripped jeans on, then he immediately took them off again because it was the same ripped jeans he had wore the night he first met Remus. He put on another pair, but changed those, too, because those were the ones he wore when they went to see the movie Logan. Fuck, everything in his fucking closet reminded him of his Moony. Finally, he chose a pair he usually didn’t wear, because they looked too formal, even if they were jeans, and went back out. If James noticed something was off with his outfit from the way Sirius usually dressed, he didn’t comment, and the photos had been put away somewhere.

They went down the street to the pub and James got them both beers.

‘So, back on the market, then,’ he said in a forced, upbeat tone. Sirius didn’t answer. He chugged his beer instead, so he wouldn’t have to talk. Peter came in through the door and upon seeing that Sirius was out of a drink he went up to the bar and got two new beers. He placed one in front of his friend as he sat down. Sirius looked down into it.

‘I loved him…’ he whispered.

‘Yeah, dude, I know.’ Peter said and rubbed his back.

‘You do?’

‘It was kind of obvious.’

‘Oh…’

Sirius took his phone up and stared at it. He didn’t know what he had expected to find there, because there really only were four people who could be texting him. Two of them were with him, one was most likely never going to text him ever again, and the last one was probably feeding the third one chocolate as they spoke.

‘I know you love him, but it’s over mate. Put the phone away. It’s never easy to walk away but let him go. It’ll be okay, but it’s gonna hurt for a bit of time,’ James said.

Peter frowned at him.

‘Are you quoting that Dean Lewis song?’

‘What? Of course not.’

They all knew he was, but Sirius didn’t have it in him to comment. He knew James most likely had set himself up for Sirius to be able to tease him about it, but Sirius wasn’t in the mood. That in itself proved just how down he was feeling.

‘Look, you’ll find another one to love. Bottoms up and let’s forget all about tonight.’

He looked up and met James’ hazel eyes.

‘You want me to _forget_? You want _me_ to _forget_!? Remus was the _best fucking thing_ to ever happen to me! He was…’ Sirius faltered. ‘He was the one,’ he said and left the pub.

Outside he pulled his leather jacket closer around himself. Two girls were standing there, smoking.

‘Can I buy one off you?’ he asked.

One of the girls handed him a cigarette. He still had his own lighter in the pocket. After having quit, he never got around to throwing it away.

‘Take it. You look like you need it,’ she said.

‘Thanks, love,’ he mumbled, lit the cigarette, and smoked it while he walked home. Neither James nor Peter tried to follow him. No doubt they knew it wouldn’t end well for them if they did.

He stopped by the convenience store and bought two packs of cigarettes on his way home. It didn’t matter of he started smoking again. Right now, he wasn’t strong enough to resist, and it wasn’t like Remus could tell him not to. When he got home, he lit another cigarette, put that Dean Lewis song on, smoked and cried.

 

\---------------------------

 

Sirius hadn’t been out with his friends for the entire month since Remus had broken up with him. Not after that first night. His heart hadn’t been into it.

He went to school, but that took so much of his energy that he didn’t have any left for James and Peter. Sirius mostly spent his time in his room, smoking and looking at photos of Remus. And crying. There was a lot of that. Also, he was kind of avoiding Lily because simply being close to her reminded him about Remus.

That’s why, when she showed up at his house James style, he wanted to cry.

‘Snap out of it, Black,’ she said. ‘I’m here to fix this shit-fest you got yourself in.’

‘Go. Leave me alone.’

Lily snatched the textbook Sirius was hiding behind and slapped him in the face with it. Sirius winced and put his palm on the cheek she had hit.

‘What the fuck?’

‘I am going out. So are you. Put some fucking clothes on. I’m not letting him see you like this.’

Sirius looked down at himself. He was wearing boxers and a purple tank top.

‘Where are we going?’

‘We’re going to talk to Remus.’

‘No.’

‘Yes. I’m sick of the two of you moping about this breakup idiocy.’

‘Why is _he_ moping? He’s the one who broke it off.’

‘Not by fucking choice. Or at least that’s what he thought at the time. Come on Black, we’re running out of time. Get. The fuck. Dressed.’

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily has had enough of the boys being broken up. Sirius finally finds out what's wrong with his boyfriend, or, well, wx-boyfriend to be specific. Also, he kind of has a big reveal to do himself.
> 
> Oh, and they go camping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter. God how I've loved writing this story. Thank you everyone who's reading. I love you all.

Lily rang the doorbell on the Lupin house. Sirius thought it was something ominous about that sound. It sounded hollow and empty, much like Sirius’ insides had felt ever since Remus broke up with him. He was about to turn on his heels and run, and he would have, but Lily had him in an iron grip. Hope answered the door.

‘Hey, you two. He’s in his room,’ she said and let them in. Sirius glanced at her, but she wouldn’t look at him. She went back out into the kitchen and closed the door behind her. Lyall towered over them.

‘You…’ Sirius said and narrowed his eyes.

‘Don’t, Pads. You got it all wrong,’ Lily mumbled.

‘Here to talk some sense into my boy?’ he asked.

‘Yes,’ Lily said flatly.

‘Good. He’s been moping for weeks. And tonight…’

‘I know what tonight is. That’s why we’re here. I think _he_ needs to know.’ Lily said and indicated the boy she was holding on to. Lyall nodded. Sirius didn’t understand what the hell she was talking about. He simply followed her up the stairs and into Remus’ bedroom because he had no choice.

Lily didn’t bother knocking, she simply threw the door to Remus’ bedroom open and launched Sirius in there. Remus was sitting on the bed, smoking, in just his sweat pants. Sirius stood in the middle of the room, trying to get his bearings back. Lily poked her head in.

‘You talk this through now. I’ll be downstairs, helping Hope with the meat,’ then she left.

‘Meat?’ Sirius asked. ‘I thought you guys were vegetarians?’

Remus sighed. He put out his joint in the ashtray on the desk, pulled a t-shirt on and patted on the bed. Sirius sat down.

‘Really bad night, huh?’ Sirius asked.

‘It will be. Why are you here?’ Remus asked in return.

‘Beats me. Lily dragged me here. Said it had to be tonight.’

Remus threw his head back and stared at the ceiling for a moment before he said:

‘Well, I guess… I mean, we’re already broken up, how much worse can things get, right?’

‘Hey, you broke up with me!’

‘And for a good fucking reason!’

For a second, Sirius thought he saw that same predatorial gleam in Remus’ eyes, the one he had thought he’d seen on their first night together, then Remus shook his head and it was gone. Sirius sighed and looked away.

‘I can’t think of any.’

He took his pack of cigarettes out and opened it before he realized what he was doing. Then he looked at Remus.

‘You’re smoking again?’

‘You broke up with me. I think I’m fucking entitled to.’

Remus closed his eyes, but then he nodded.

‘Alright, smoke then.’

‘You never answered, by the way,’ Sirius said because he was feeling confrontational.

‘Answer what?’

‘What good fucking reason you had for breaking up with me.’

‘That’s what I think Lily wants me to show you tonight.’ Remus took Sirius’ hand. It made his heart ache. He ran his thumb over Remus’ scarred knuckles.

‘None of this is making any sense to me,’ Sirius said. ‘What’s with all the secrecy, anyway?’

‘I… I can’t explain. Can you promise me one thing? Just… go through tonight without prejudice, and if you still want to talk to me afterwards, we’ll talk. Not that I think you’d want to, but…’

‘Why wouldn’t I? I love you, Remus. That hasn’t changed.’

‘You keep telling me that. But after tonight…’ Remus sighed and downcast his eyes. ‘Come on, it’s about time.’

Remus led Sirius downstairs into the kitchen. They got there just as Hope threw the last slab of raw meat in a bowl. Lily took it.

‘You guys okay now?’

‘Nope, idiot still won’t take back the breakup,’ Sirius grumbled.

‘I want him to _see_ , first. Then he can decide for himself,’ Remus said.

‘You’re saying it’s up to me?’ Sirius said. ‘Because in that case…’

‘It’s up to you as of tomorrow morning,’ Remus cut him off, then he let go of Sirius’ hand and went into the basement. Sirius stared after him.

‘Am I supposed to follow?’ he asked Lily. She nodded and did just that. Sirius went after her.

To be perfectly honest, as much time as Sirius had spent in the Lupin house, he had never even given the cellar a thought. The inconspicuous door in the kitchen had never caught his attention and now he was kind of surprised they even had a level below ground level. There were no windows, and the walls on the stairs down were padded. It made Sirius’ skin crawl.

The cellar was a dungeon.

If the padded walkway there had had Sirius freaking out, he was fucking terrified now. The only thing stopping him from turning on his heel and running away was the fact that Hope was standing in the doorway, blocking his exit. She patted his arm sympathetically and said:

‘I know sweetie, it’s all a little jarring at first.’

Jarring seemed like an understatement to Sirius. The ceiling was fitted with spotlights, now dimmed. The floor was covered in a linoleum mat, and in the middle of the room was a cage.

Yes.

The Lupin family had a fucking cage in their cellar.

A table was standing next to one of the walls. Lily placed the bowl of meat there, next to a stereo. Remus was connecting his phone to the stereo and soon one of his playlists droned from the speakers. Sirius recognized it as the one he always put on when he was anxious and needed to relax. Sirius had even suggested a few of the songs himself, as something he thought Remus would like. The first song was Wicked game by Stone sour. One of Sirius’ suggestions. He himself had listened to it more than a few times during this stupid breakup. Remus turned and walked up to him.

‘I’m really sorry about all this, but it’s necessary.’

‘Babe, I don’t get it. _Please_ , just talk to me.’

‘There’s nothing I can _say_ that will make you get it. You have to _see_ ,’ he said.

Sirius noticed his ex-boyfriend was starting to mellow down, most likely from the weed he had been smoking. Sirius closed his eyes and made a tormented face.

‘Please, Moony.’

‘Pads, I… for me? If you’re serious, that you _do_ love me, please don’t push anymore.’

Sirius could feel Remus’ lips ghost against his own, then the other boy pulled back. He walked up to the cage.

‘He’s not seriously getting in there, is he?’ Sirius asked Lily.

‘He has to,’ she said.

Lyall chose that moment to walk down the stairs with a tranquilizer gun in his hand. Sirius stared at him.

‘Come on,’ Lily said and pulled Sirius with her to a run-down couch against one of the walls. Meanwhile, in the cage, Remus had taken his clothes off. He was now sitting naked, cross-legged on the floor with his face tilted downwards. He refused to look at either of them. Sirius could understand that, he must be terribly uncomfortable. Remus was a private guy and being this vulnerable in front of all these people must be hard for him.

Lyall walked up to the cage and locked the door with a padlock, then he sat down in the chair next to the table. The tranquilizer gun was resting across his legs.

‘It’s locked properly?’ Remus asked. There was something about his voice that didn’t fit to Sirius.

‘Yes, son.’

‘Good. I can… feel… it’s starting.’

‘I’ll be upstairs,’ Hope said. ‘If anytime during the night you think it gets too much, I’m there for you,’ she said and looked directly at Sirius. ‘There’s no harm in taking a break and no one will think less of you for it.’

‘What are you talking about?’ he asked. Hope didn’t answer. She gave Remus a last, lingering look.

‘I love you, son.’

Remus didn’t answer, which stroke Sirius as odd because Remus had never not said “I love you, too” back to his mother. Sirius could see sweat pearl on Remus’ cheek. Once the door swung shut on the top of the stairs, Remus gripped the bars on the cage and screamed.

With a crack, his right arm broke. He bit down on his lower lip so hard it started bleeding. Then his entire body convulsed. More loud cracks were heard as his body shook and twisted.

Lily put a hand on Sirius’ chest to keep him in the couch because he had been about to get up.

‘Stay, Pads,’ she said.

Sirius gave her the evil eye, but he remained on the couch.

‘I want you to remember something,’ she said. ‘Whatever it says to you, that’s not Remus. Never forget that. It feeds on your insecurities. It will target those and make you feel like the shittiest person on earth. The only thing worse than being targeted by a werewolf, is being the host to one.’

‘Werewolf?’ Sirius asked. Lily jutted her chin towards the cage where Remus had now collapsed on his side. His skin had patches of dull, sand-colored fur. His arms and legs were elongated, as was his face. His eyes were big, black pools and he had fangs peeking out from under his lip.

‘Fuck…’

Lyall glanced over at the teenagers on the couch. Sirius was staring at the creature in the cage. No.

Not creature.

That was his _boyfriend_ in there, his boyfriend and some sort of evil parasite that had infested him.

As he was looking at it, the werewolf staggered to its knees. It gave Lyall a sour look.

‘Yes, bitch, I’m armed this month, too,’ Lyall said calmly. ‘You try anything on my boy, and I will not hesitate to shoot you and you know it.’

The werewolf made an obscene gesture towards Lyall and turned in its cage. It had to do so on its knees because the cage was too small for it to stand up properly. It zeroed in on Lily.

‘What are you doing here, girl? He doesn’t want you here. In fact, he’s furious with you for bringing the Black one.’

Lily scoffed.

‘No, he’s not. He’s upset about it, but he knows it was necessary.’

The werewolf growled.

‘You can’t get to me, and you know it,’ Lily said. ‘I’ve been here far too long for that.’

The wolf turned its neck with a series of loud cracks before its eyes landed on Sirius.

‘The Black pup,’ it spat. ‘Oh, the host likes this one, yes he does. He’s screaming now, terrified I’ll scare you off, but you’re not easily scared, are you? I can smell it on you. No fear,’ it growled.

Sirius met the sickly yellowish gaze of the werewolf. The werewolf snarled. Sirius snarled back. He got up from the couch and walked closer to the cage, stopping at what he deemed was a safe distant. There he kneeled.

‘Son…’ Lyall started. Sirius held up his hand to stop the man from saying anything else.

‘It’s alright, Mr. Lupin. It won’t bite me, will you?’ He asked the werewolf.

‘Poison!’ It snarled.

‘That’s what I thought,’ Sirius said. He got up again, walked around the cage and grabbed the bowl of meat. ‘You must be hungry,’ he mused. ‘The host won’t feed you meat. Has been an entire moon cycle since you tasted blood, hasn’t it?’

‘Please,’ the werewolf begged. ‘The host boy…’

‘The host boy is a vegetarian, and I’m betting my ass that the low-key fierce fucker went full vego the day he realized _it weakens you_ ,’ Sirius continued. ‘Isn’t that right, Mr. Lupin?’ he asked, eyes still trained on the werewolf.

‘Full score, Mr. Black,’ Lyall said.

Sirius threw the werewolf a piece of meat. It skittled up to it and started slurping it in. Sirius took a couple of steps closer.

‘But you have to have it at least when you’re turned, because otherwise the both of you will get sick, I reckon. Or this wouldn’t be here.’

‘You’re about to earn yourself a gold star, kid,’ Lyall said.

Sirius threw the werewolf another piece of meat, then he crouched down in front of it. He was so close to the cage now. If the werewolf hadn’t been more scared of him than he was of it, it would surely have bitten him by now. But, as it had said, to it, Sirius’ blood was poison.

‘How do you know all this?’ Lyall asked.

‘Cur…’ the werewolf started but it snapped its mouth shut after a mere look from Sirius.

‘Curious, old, rich family. There’s a shitload of books about occult stuff in our family library. The Elizabethans _loved_ that type of novels. Believe it or not, I went through a goth phase at thirteen.’

The werewolf shot him an annoyed look. Sirius held out a piece of the raw meat in his hand for the werewolf to take.

‘Pads…’ Lily started, but Sirius paid her no attention. His gaze was focused on the werewolf as it reached out towards him.

‘Uh-uh,’ he said. ‘Mouth.’

The werewolf winced, pulled its arm back in the cage and cautiously reached its snout out through the bars. Sirius reached out a little further, just enough for the werewolf to snatch the meat from between his fingers.

‘Good boy,’ Sirius said.

The werewolf snarled, then it clawed itself across the chest. Lyall instantly got to his feet and shot it with the tranquilizer gun. The werewolf staggered, howled, and fell to the floor. Sirius darted to the door in the cage.

‘Don’t!’ Lyall demanded.

Sirius flinched.

‘He’s bleeding!’

‘Yes. And we’ll take care of that come morning, but right now there’s nothing you can do for him. It’s too dangerous, even if it is sedated. If you don’t believe me,’ he said and held out his hand for Sirius to see. It was missing a finger. ‘then believe this. It was sedated when this happened.’

‘Fuck…’

Lily grabbed Sirius by the arm.

‘Come on, let’s go have some tea.’

Hope already had the kettle boiling when they ascended the stairs. Lily sat him down on the wooden sofa under the window.

‘I heard the shot,’ Hope said.

‘Across the chest. It’ll require stitches,’ Lily said.

Hope nodded. Sirius wondered how on earth she could be so relaxed about all this. When she handed him his tea, she sat down opposite of him at the table.

‘How long has he been like that?’ Sirius asked.

‘He got bit when he was seven,’ Lily said, even though Sirius had really asked Hope. ‘I was there.’

‘You were… _what_?’

Lily hid her face in her hands. Hope placed a hand on her shoulder.

‘It’s okay, Lily. Young Mr. Black should get the full story.’

Lily nodded into her hands, then she squared her shoulders and looked up at Sirius.

‘It was before I met you three. We were seven, as I said. I… I grew up in one of the houses a little bit further down the street. We moved and I switched schools, to your school.’

‘I see.’

‘We were out playing one evening, me and Remus. It was winter, and the moon was full early in the evening. I… I got attacked by a rabid dog, or so we thought. Remus stepped in between to save me. If he hadn’t…’

‘…you’d be the werewolf,’ Sirius concluded.

‘That’s why she comes here as many full moons as she can,’ Hope filled in.

‘Poor Remus spent three weeks in the hospital, recovering from the several bites and claw marks he had gotten. Once he got out, it was almost full moon again. What a happy surprise for his parents,’ Lily said bitterly.

‘Don’t blame yourself, Lily, it wasn’t your fault. It was the werewolf’s fault, the one that bit him. Luckily, the first time he turned, on top of being a seven-year-old scrawny little boy he was weakened from his stay at the hospital. Lyall managed to wrestle him into the closet and keep him there for the remainder of the night while I frantically googled how to handle werewolves without killing them.’ Hope actually managed a faint smile. ‘That next morning, our son was sitting in the closet again, with claw marks he had given himself, crying and trying to understand what had happened to him. That in itself was more terrible than the entire night fighting to keep him in there.’

‘I can imagine.’

‘See, the werewolf punishes him. It knows Remus suffers for weeks from whatever it does to itself during the night. Now that Lyall tranquilized it, we’ll have to keep the boy on anti-depressants and anxiety-reducers for at least a couple of weeks or so before he bounces back.’

‘Why?’

‘Because the dreams in the were-state is more terrifying than anything the wolf can do to him while awake,’ Hope said. ‘And he _remembers_ the dreams. If the werewolf is awake, Remus is semi-dormant. If the wolf is knocked out…’

‘…Remus takes the shit.’

‘Bluntly put, yes.’

‘Why aren’t _you_ down there?’

Hope sighed and looked out at the full moon.

‘Because I take it too personal. I’ve tried, but I’m not strong enough. I let it get to me, so it’s better for both me and Remus if I stay away.’

Sirius thought that a woman who handled this on a regular basis without running off and leaving her werewolf son behind had to be a lot stronger than she thought, but he didn’t say that.

‘Can I… use his room? I think I need a moment to myself.’

‘Sure thing, honey, go right up. I don’t think Remus would mind.’

‘Thanks.’

Sirius got up. He felt heavy, like he had gained a thousand pounds since he sat down on the sofa. He needed sleep, but he doubted he would be able to after this. He sat down on Remus bed and hugged his pillow. It smelled like Remus. That finally pushed Sirius over the edge, and he started crying into it.

He went back into the cellar at dawn. According to Lyall, Remus had just turned back into himself and the door was safe to open. Lyall let Sirius into the cage. He wrapped Remus in a blanket and scooped him up bridal style. Remus was still semi-non-responsive, but he leaned his bloody face against Sirius’ chest.

‘Come on, babe. Let’s get you cleaned up,’ Sirius mumbled. He carried Remus up the stairs and into the bathroom where Hope had poured him a bath. She cleaned the wounds, stitched him up and fed him a cocktail of pills before she handed Sirius the sponge and left the boys alone.

‘It responds to you,’ Remus mumbled once Hope had left. Sirius was cleaning the blood off from Remus’ hair.

‘It likes me,’ he hummed.

Remus chuckled softly.

‘No, it doesn’t. It’s scared of you. It’s never been scared of anyone before.’

‘Good thing, though,’ Sirius said. An idea was already forming in his head.

‘Is it?’

‘I guess. I’d rather it’s scared of me than the other way around.’

‘I guess,’ Remus echoed.

‘Do you want a cup of tea before we sleep?’ Sirius asked.

‘Yes. I’d like to watch the sunrise,’ Remus nodded. ‘Mom probably already has it boiling.’

‘I love your mom,’ Sirius said, then he helped Remus out of the bathtub and into his sweats. Once Remus had pants on, Sirius did what he could to bandage him so the stitches wouldn’t rub against his clothes. The boy winced when the fabric of the band-aid was pressed against the stitches.

 

\----------------------

 

They were sitting on the porch, sipping their tea and watching the sun rise. Lily had left, saying Remus was in good hands.

‘So… You said I got to decide come sunrise,’ Sirius said. ‘And I want this fucking break up broken up.’

Remus was too tired to lift his head and look at Sirius. He intertwined their fingers.

‘Why?’

‘Because I love you, stupid. That’s why.’

‘But I’m…’

‘And I already said it doesn’t scare me. Will you for once just _listen_ to me?’

Remus chuckled softly.

‘Alright. Convince me, Black.’

‘You said it yourself, I can control it. Or… something close to that, at least. It’s more scared of me than I am of it. And… I love you. That’s my whole case, really.’

‘You are going to be a terrible solicitor,’ Remus joked.

‘Yeah, well…’ Sirius shrugged.

‘Well, if you’re stupid enough to go into this with all the facts on the table I guess I can’t stop you. And I’m pretty fucking tired of crying every time I hear that terrible Lukas Graham song.’

Sirius laughed.

‘Lukas Graham song?’

‘Dad quoted it. Thing is…’ Remus continued and winced as he shifted in his seat. ‘Fuck, I think I dislocated my shoulder this time… Thing is I love you, too.’

‘At least we agree on that.’

‘You do realize _why_ I broke up with you now, though?’ Remus asked.

‘Yeah, I do. I thought… I thought your dad had hurt you, you know.’

‘I know.’

‘At first, I thought you were self-harming, but then when you told me it wasn’t the case… I jumped to conclusions. I’m gonna have to apologize to Lyall for that.’

‘Yeah, you do,’ Lyall said from behind them. He had stepped out on the porch right in time to hear Sirius say that. Now he walked around and crouched in front of his son and his boyfriend. ‘But I want you to know that we’re happy Remus has someone as loyal and protective as you to look out for him. That little outbreak of yours only confirmed that.’

Sirius blushed when he remembered all the things he had said that night.

‘I’m sorry Mr. Lupin, I really am. My own family has never been as supporting as you are, and I jumped to conclusions I shouldn’t have. Will you forgive me?’

‘Sure, son,’ Lyall smiled.

‘Thank you, sir.’

‘Actually, that night, he had been trying to get me to tell you my secret for days,’ Remus chimed in.

‘He… you had?’

Lyall nodded.

‘But why?’

‘Well, for one I figured you had your suspicions about what was going on, and as wrong as they were, I wanted you to know the truth. Also, because I had a feeling about you, son, that you’d understand. Turned out you did even better than just understand.’

Remus looked at his boyfriend fondly.

 

\---------------------------

 

Even with Remus on antidepressants and anxiety reducers, the boys were having the best weeks of their lives. Remus’ wounds slowly healed, and the two of them were as if newly in love again.

When the next full moon rolled around, Sirius knew exactly what he needed to do, but he needed Lyall on his team for this and he was nervous about going to his boyfriend’s father, but since he knew that Remus would never agree to Sirius’ idea, he went to see Lyall at work. The man was sitting behind his desk in his spacious office when he accepted Sirius. Sirius looked around and whistled.

‘Nice place you got here, Mr. Lupin.’

‘Very nice indeed. Sit down, Sirius. Do you want some tea?’

‘I think this conversation requires something stronger,’ Sirius said. ‘But I’ll settle for tea.’

Lyall frowned at him, then he got up and put the kettle on. They didn’t say anything while the water boiled. Not until Lyall had served him and was once again sitting behind his desk with the London skyline behind his back, did Sirius say:

‘I’m here to talk about Remus.’

He handed Lyall the ledger he had put together for this meeting. Sirius may not have been overly ecstatic about his heritance but having frequented boarding schools for the most part of his life had its perks. Knowing how to ready yourself for important meetings were one of them.

‘Last full moon was not a good one,’ Sirius started. He internally winced, because calling it “not good” had been the understatement of a life time. Remus had been on antidepressants for a week afterwards and Hope had sewn him together in five different places where the cuts had been too deep to close by themselves. However, Sirius had set out to be as professional as possible about this.

‘Typically, after such a bad moon, the next months are more manageable,’ Lyall said. He was looking through the ledger. ‘What is this?’

‘My plan to make all of his remaining full moons manageable,’ Sirius said, then he launched into an explanation of what he had in mind. Lyall listened carefully while he went through the ledger, asked questions when he believed something wasn’t thought through and he was very impressed with this young man. When Sirius showed him the best part, Lyall was finally convinced. He already knew the boy could handle the werewolf, and now he knew why. It was better than anything he could have ever hoped for. When Sirius was done, Lyall said:

‘I should hire you. This was, beyond doubt, the best presentation I’ve ever gotten.’

Sirius smiled.

‘I still have three and a half years of university left.’

‘Make sure you pass, and I’ll keep a position for you here. I’d rather have my son, but he doesn’t want anything to do with the legal life. He has, however, informed me that _you_ go to law school, though. Maybe a son in law will suffice.’

‘Son in law?’ Sirius asked.

‘Am I wrong?’ Lyall asked.

‘Probably not. I’d die for that boy to be honest.’

‘I hope you don’t have to.’

‘You and me both,’ Sirius laughed. ‘I only have one problem with this plan of mine that I haven’t solved yet.’

‘Which is…?’

‘How to get Remus to agree.’

‘Leave that to me,’ Lyall said.

 

\-----------------------------

 

Sirius pulled up outside the Lupin residence and honked the horn. As he was climbing out, the Lupin family gathered on the front steps of the house. He gestured towards the vehicle.

’Ta-da!’

Remus looked at Sirius.

‘You bought a camper van?’

‘Yes! Come on!’

Sirius grabbed Remus’ hand and pulled him inside. It was a small camper, it had a queen size bed in the back, a kitchenette and four seats around a small table. There was a bathroom with a toilet and a shower that you could not be even remotely chubby to fit into. They got back out to Remus’ parents who were waiting on the stairs to their house.

‘I like it, but, you know I can’t go camping tonight, right?’

‘Sure, you can. Your dad and I have an understanding, right Mr. Lupin, sir?’ Sirius said.

To Remus surprise, his father nodded and then tossed Sirius a black backpack. Remus recognized that backpack. It contained his after-care kit. Band-aids, tape, ointments and painkillers, among other things.

‘Dad, what’s going on?’

‘Go upstairs and pack your overnight bag, son. Sirius has promised to take good care of you.’

‘He… he has?’

Sirius smiled widely and nodded enthusiastically. He made a shooing gesture to get Remus to move.

‘Come on, Moony. You need to hurry if we’re to make it in time. I don’t want you to wolf out on me while I’m driving this thing.’

Remus once again looked at his dad.

‘It’s okay, son. I trust Sirius to handle this.’

‘Alright…’

Remus walked back into the house. Sirius waited on the stairs.

‘Take care of him, now, you hear?’ Lyall said. ‘If he’s feeling terribly down tomorrow there are antidepressants in the backpack you can give him. Don’t mix them with alcohol.’

‘I haven’t even packed… I’m not an idiot,’ Sirius deadpanned.

‘I know. Sorry. I’ve never… we’ve never let him do this on his own.’

‘I understand it’s difficult. However… if this works as well as I’m hoping, he won’t need the antidepressants tomorrow.’

‘If that’s the case I’m forever in your debt, son.’

Remus re-emerged from the house with a weekend bag in his hand.

‘So…?’ He asked.

‘Let’s go, then. We’ll be back the day after tomorrow,’ Sirius said.

‘Text us tomorrow and let us know how it went,’ Lyall said.

Remus nodded. He still had no idea what Sirius and his father were planning, but he trusted Sirius with his life. Remus and Sirius climbed into the camper and drove away.

They drove in silence for a while. Remus was clutching the bag in his lap like a life line. After half an hour, he mumbled:

‘Is it far?’

‘Little more than an hour more,’ Sirius said, his eyes trained on the road.

‘Oh. I… I didn’t know what to pack, so I packed my pajamas and a pair of cargo pants, some t-shirts, swim shorts… sweaters…’

‘Sounds perfect,’ Sirius said.

After about forty-five minutes Sirius turned the camper off the main road and after ten minutes, they reached a gate. Sirius got out, unlocked the gate, opened it, drove through and then went out again to close it and lock it before they drove on.

‘Don’t want anyone getting in with another camper,’ he said. Remus didn’t know what to say, so he remained quiet.

They drove for another fifteen minutes on a dirt road until they reached a clearing in the woods. There was a sign by the dirt-packed clearing that said:

_Black woods._

_Private property_.

 

‘Is this your family’s land?’ Remus asked.

‘Yup. After my grandfather died no one ever comes here,’ Sirius said as he parked the camper van.

‘What have you got planned?’ Remus asked.

‘I’ll show you. Come on out.’

Remus got out and walked around the camper. Sirius started getting undressed.

’What are you _doing_?’ Remus asked.

‘Don’t sound so nervous, Moony, you’ve seen me naked before.’

‘Not in the woods during the full moon I haven’t. You’re setting yourself up to be killed in a very humiliating way,’ he said.

Sirius rolled his eyes as he took off his jeans and tossed them aside. Then he took of his boxers. Remus hid his face in his hands.

‘You’re so dramatic. Look at me,’ Sirius said. ‘I need you to see this.’

Remus shook his head. Sirius plied his hands away from his face.

‘Moony. Look at me.’

Remus sighed an looked up.

‘Please don’t be freaked out now,’ Sirius said.

‘I’m a bloody werewolf, Pads,’ Remus said. ‘Whatever you’re going to do now surely can’t be any worse than that.’

Sirius shrugged, then he started shrinking. Long, black fur grew on his body and after mere seconds a big, black dog was standing in front of Remus. Remus just stared at it. The dog padded up to him and nuzzled its nose into the palm of his hand. Remus sank to the ground and allowed the dog to lick his cheek.

‘Pads…?’ He asked. The dog grunted, then it situated itself in Remus’ lap and turned back into a naked Sirius. Remus grabbed Sirius’ sweater and placed it in his boyfriend’s lap for privacy.

‘It’s called the Black family curse,’ Sirius explained. ‘The oldest son of the oldest son and so on. It goes back centuries. I plan on braking it by not having any biological children.’

‘Good thing you’re gay, then,’ Remus said, because it was all he could think to say.

Sirius chuckled softly.

‘It helps.’

‘Padfoot, huh? Makes sense now. Well, I think it’s great,’ Remus said. ‘You… you’re like me, in a way.’

‘In a way. Only I don’t need the full moon to do it and it doesn’t hurt me either physically or mentally.’

Remus looked away and sighed. Sirius placed his palm on Remus’ cheek and turned his boyfriend’s head to face him.

‘I love you, Moony, all of you. I thought maybe this could help you.’

‘How?’

‘We can run together. I can keep you from hurting people. We keep to these dense woods, go here for the full moon, let the wolf out. My hopes are that it’ll keep him from hurting you, if he’s given some free range. Run him tired instead of locking the two of you up in a small cage and let him take his aggressions out on you.’

‘You think that will work? What if it bites you?’

‘I’m ready to try it. Biting me won’t turn me, not when I’m already… turned. Besides, it and I already had that discussion, last full moon when I watched you turn. My blood is poison to it. It knows that.’

Remus looked up at the sky. The moon was almost up. He sighed.

‘Well, we’re here, might as well… I can feel it starting.’

Sirius stood up and held his hand out for Remus to take, then he pulled him to his feet. Remus leaned down to pick Sirius’ clothes up from the ground.

‘Let’s get these to the camper,’ he said and started towards it. He threw the bundle with Sirius’ clothes through the door, then he undressed himself and threw his own clothes in there, too.

Sirius eyed him with a smile, then he held out his hand. Remus took it, and together they walked naked, hand in hand, into the darkness of the woods. The last thing Remus did before the darkness fully enveloped them was to tilt his head towards the moon and howl.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think :) Also, come scream Harry Potter at me on my tumblr blog makerofaqueen <3


End file.
